Throughout my childhood I would lean on the crutch of religious explanations in the midst of suffering, but at the age of 19, I finally started to realize that christianity may have a very limited description of reality. I clumsily asked the right questions which sent me on the greatest adventures that are now my warmest memories.

But it’s of importance to note that since that awakening I have also suffered in ways I couldn’t have even fathomed back in that moment when I decided genuine truth seeking was more important than all else. Part of the reason for the intensity of this suffering is that as I ventured into the unknown I also left behind the religious comforts and tools that I had been taught to use in the trials I would face.

Through trial and error over a long period, I’ve pieced together my own systems and tools to help guide me like a torch in the darkness. However, it only seems the beginning to be able to accept the pain and suffering in retrospect; it’s a whole other level to embrace it while in the midst of the worst trials I will ever know. This is my objective.

In my moments of deepest clarity, I can see that pain and suffering are just an existence tax. Here are four ways where altering my perception of pain and suffering has helped me lean into and embrace it while in the depths of it as opposed to only accepting it in retrospect.

1. The entrance fee for your next adventure

 What do you get for paying this burdensome existence tax?

I’ve never met anyone who wants everything to stay exactly the same, locked in a static moment. We all, to varying degrees, want to taste something new, see what’s behind the next door, go one step further down the path of developing new skills. Or if you’re a bit more extreme like me, we will stop at nothing to pull the veils of deception off of anything that is concealed by them, to discover an artifact that turns our worldview upside down, to explore the deepest reaches of consciousness, to grab the secrets of life by the tail and never let go no matter how violently we are dragged.

Each time we go through heavy struggles, we have the potential to exit the fire of suffering with more strength, growth, knowledge, new skills. These in turn are essential for new journeys that wouldn’t be possible without that newfound strength and knowledge, and thus not possible without that grueling suffering we detested so much.

Pain and suffering are keys to doors we otherwise would not be able to open.
What happens when we find a way to fully accept this while gripped by the most searing pain?

2. Extremes breathe each other into existence, and consequently, the spectrum between

Second, and probably most obvious, our summits and most pleasurable moments can’t exist outside of a context; they need valleys and canyons to rise from. If we didn’t know suffering and the lowest of lows, would our high points mean as much? Would our most vibrant moments shock us into the eternal now? Would our most exhilarating pleasures have us utter out loud “it was all worth it” without a shred of doubt in our being?

It appears opposing forces breathe each other into existence, an existence tax.

I also don’t believe this is just you and I. For any being to experience some form of consciousness it seems this existence tax necessarily must be paid to create contrast, albeit being experienced in many different ways. Here’s a very generalized and basic visual:

The idea that pain gives context and even existence to pleasure is so so simple, but so difficult to fully grasp in the midst of being in the fire of suffering. What if we created personal systems that helped us consistently remember this at the most crucial moments?

3. Warriors are not forged during the good times

The harder it is, the more you’ll emerge a warrior that can more deeply empathize with others also paying their existence tax. You’re becoming a rock for others to depend on, a rock that you can depend on. You’re accelerating your growth through enhancing your creativity, problem solving, fear management, and so on.

If love and community are important to you, pain and suffering should be met with wide open arms. A community needs dependable warriors. Those you love will need your strength.

If you don’t have love and/or a community, your chances of finding those go through the roof if you’re someone that can be depended on when shit hits the fan and everyone is falling apart.

In moments where we are nearly blinded by pain, what if we remembered everyone else we will be able to support, if we remembered this is the only path that leads to being the warriors we want to be?

4. Heightened probability for success

We live in a world full of people who give up when things get tough, fall apart under pressure, and avoid pain at all costs.

We’ve heard it over and over throughout our lives: to succeed, we must repeatedly fail. The most successful among us yell at the top of their lungs in the direction back towards the cave, “You must constantly fail. Embrace suffering. If you fall down, just keep getting back up!”

The resiliency we develop through struggle helps us fail like successful people. With better developed creativity, problem solving, and resiliency, opportunity is more likely to knock and we will be ready to answer.

What if we were to regularly remember this when our lives were unbearable?

If you’re presently struggling to keep your head above water, hold on! 

You’re unlocking doors to your greatest, life-defining adventures for which your scars will be the entrance fee.

You’re paying a necessary existence tax that every conscious being must in order to open its eyes to this painful BUT stunningly beautiful universe.

You’re being forged in the fire and you will emerge an even greater warrior, an indispensable part of a community, a rock to depend on for those you love.

You’re setting yourself apart in a world gripped by fear of suffering. As you gain the skills and resiliency that only pain can teach, more success naturally opens before you.

“THE OBSTACLES IN YOUR PATH DEFINE THE PATH.
WHAT STANDS IN THE WAY BECOMES THE WAY”
- JARO TAPAL / STOIC SAYING

Lastly, these ideas are nothing without regular application or underlying motivation, otherwise they could drift into the ether in which you may lose them forever. I plan to write more on how I’ve successfully integrated such beliefs in the moments they are most difficult to remember, as well as the topic of building one’s foundation of motivation. Subscribe by email if you don’t want to miss those along with other ideas, thoughts, writings :)

Send this to someone you believe is in the fire and could benefit from this perspective and potential inspiration.

Let me know how these ideas impact you and if you have some additional tools that have helped you accomplish these objectives (through comments in the below platforms).

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Much love!